In days gone by, it was necessary, by custom, tradition, and even law, to get the father's permission so that the bride could marry the groom. From this comes the tradition of the pastor saying, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" The father of the bride would then reply, "Her mother and I!"

It is, obviously, no longer necessary for the father to give his permission for the marriage to be legal. It can also be seen as symbolically demeaning to the bride to have permission asked. We, after all, do not ask the groom's father to give permission. The question is therefore not part of the Lutheran wedding service.

In order to not lose that often very moving moment (The father will often tear-up.) when the father says, "Her mother and I" an alternate question can be asked. "Who gives the family blessing on this marriage?"

To this the father of the bride can answer:

"Her mother and I", or,

"I do", or,

"Mr. and Mrs. (groom's parents) and her mother and I", or

All the parents can stand and say, "We do", etc.